Your mom's a Horcrux

Like one out of every three humans on the planet, I bought and read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows this past weekend. Outside the window, it was raining heavier than it has all year. Lights flickered. These phenomena may or may not be related to the fact that Cheney was President at the time, due to GW's operation. The climate suited the book's apocalypse-or-bust vibe. Also befitting the mood, during the course of my eight hour readathon, I got through a large chunk of the Constellation Records catalogue - all of Slow Riot for New Zero Kanada, Yanqui UXO, half of Levez Vos Skinny Fists, Born Into Trouble As The Sparks Fly Upwards, and the first few songs from You, You're A History in Rust. I don't know why enigmatic Canadian post-rock best befits images of elves and dragons and giants and whatever-the-fuck Aragog the giant spider is, but it does.

So much has been written about the book that I feel any opinion of mine would be redundant, so I'm not going to tell you what I thought of it. Ask me if you really want to know. But really, I wanted to tell you about a friend, Lara, who is engaging in that popular American summer pastime, being a camp counseller. She told the kids not to spoil the book for her, she told them many times. And then, one day, one of them came up to her and said "Have you finished yet? I can't believe that Ron ************ and Harry finally ************** and *********"

Of course, Lara had not finished the book yet.

So she shot the kid in the leg with an arrow.

Lara Calloway, though you don't have internet access where you are, Congratulations! You are the AYGH? HERO OF THE WEEK.


Lauren said...

Lara is definitely my hero of the week. I can't wait to high five her when she gets back from Alabama. Glad you relayed her story to the greater public! It's much better than a review.

P.S. Your face is a horcrux!

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