The midget's the baby's daddy.

You know that saying "Words fail me"? When something is just so stupid/brazen/incredible that nothing additional really needs to be said? Here's an example: when I was in school, my friend Tom took a class not unlike your American "Shop" class, and his work was so bad that the teacher's only grade was the comment "Words fail me." When Tom eventually passed the class with a respectable B, he photocopied the teacher's comments and put them up around the school.

There's a couple of those "words fail me" instances in the R. Kelly trial, which is currently underway in Chicago.

Firstly, from the jury selection:

When the judge asked one prospective juror about his feelings regarding Kelly, he cryptically answered: "R. Kelly may have led the Taliban in attacking us on 9-11, but you can't prove it."

Next, and this one takes the prize for word-failage, "Midget" referred to in court, as Kelly trial takes a turn towards "Trapped in the Closet" plot. That is the title of the article.

I'm going to sleep. The world is broken.

Look! There is a cow!

It's rare that I get a lot of work done in one night, but for once, today I have the time to write all the things I've been meaning to for a while. Having said that, the "Open Letter to the girl in the top-left of the picture at Hillary Clinton's victory speech in West Virginia" that I was planning is probably old hat by now, so you'll just have to guess what that would have entailed.

Anyway. Last week I managed to catch 'The Cesc Fabregas Show' - a bad idea poorly executed. I don't know if you've seen the clip of him staying cool, but it's pretty awesome, unlike the rest of this elaborate and unnecessary 'This Is Your Life' style tribute. The hosts were two comedians I'd never heard of, who weren't very funny. One of them called Mrs. Fabregas a "yummy mummy" in front of Cesc, which just seemed tasteless. There was one pretty funny sketch with Matt Lucas, and one terrible one from Paul Kaye. Cesc kept his cool throughout, though, and looked like he was taking it in good grace, despite the people coming to big him up. I mean, there was nobody more charismatic than Big Phil Senderos, Bendtner, and Paul Merson? (Arsene Wenger and living legend Mickey Thomas get free passes). Maybe it was better to actually be there - Goodplaya was, and he enjoyed himself.

In other news, I don't have much to say about last night's Champions League final. It's a pity that both teams couldn't lose, but it was a good match to watch as a neutral. It's also a pity that Ashley Cole didn't get hit by a bus. Also, congratulations to Celtic on another SPL victory tonight.That Rangers/Celtic match with the handball on the line and the Nakamura screamer and the injury time winner and the big fight at the end is probably my match of the season.

Who should I cheer for in Euro 2008?

We want punks in the palace

A Silver Mt. Zion don't fuck around. They put out a new album like two months ago. I didn't write about it at the time, but I did post a live track from it. The thing is, '13 Blues for Thirteen Moons' is only (really) four tracks long, and only the incredible, euphoric closer 'BlindBlindBlind' really hits me in the gut and makes me want to cry and thank some almighty being that I'm alive, lying in a ball screaming 'some! hearts! are! true!' until my synapses burst and I need some orange juice...

Sorry, for a minute there I lost myself.

Anyway, ASMZ are on tour now, as bands with new albums are wont to do. AND THEY ALREADY HAVE TWO BRAND NEW SONGS. This may not sound too extraordinary, but don't forget that the last album only had four songs on it. One of the new songs is called 'There's a Light', and the other 'Metal Bird' has about thirty-two segments, including one with the refrain "Dense motherfucker!" (it may be dance). Check out a boot of their Montreal show at the Live Music Archive and then join me in mourning that they don't play 'God Bless Our Dead Marines' any more.

[download A Silver Mt. Zion - Metal Bird (live)]

Girls on Bikes

Listening to 'It's Been Great', from Alan Wilkis' new album 'Babies Dream Big', I thought of the 1980s, when fashion was terrible, Indiana Jones movies were cool (more on which in a later post, I'm sure) and Prince was a badass. 'It's Been Great' sounds like Prince, with heavy bass, sassy vocals, and a general laid-back vibe that lasts throughout the record. 'Astronaut' comes off as a more sun-dried Caribou but with appropriately spaced-out sounding noises, possibly approved by NASA. The album has some moments of funk, and not always the fun side of funk, but those are few and far between. I thought of Jamie Lidell a lidell bit (where's sadtrombone.com when you need it?), with the combination of electronics, falsetto and, in someone else's words "the music to a 1970s porn video". The summer is coming - grab an ice cream cone and give this guy a listen.

Also, check out Alan and dozens of others in the Neon Coyote Summer Mix 08, by going here. Those of us waiting for the union of Britney Spears, Underworld, Lil Wayne and Born Ruffians can sleep easy at last!

[download Alan Wilkis - It's Been Great]



[Alan Wilkis myspace]

Go Rushie, Go Rushie Go!

Here are some things from this internet which you may enjoy.

• There was a Simpsons episode recently that featured Jim Jarmusch. Wait, what? It was pretty funny, actually, and you can watch it here, or if the embed works, here.
  
• If you're like me and you prefer to read the book before the film comes out and then be irritatingly self-righteous about how inferior the film was (cf The Namesake, Slumberparty Massacre 2), then you may be interested in this. One of the Christmas period's big films this year will be 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button', directed by David Fincher, and therefore probably dark, sick and twisted. I can't wait. It's based on a short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald, which you can have read to you like a six year old, by clicking here. The audiobook is just over an hour long and it's an enjoyable little yarn. Also, it's free.
• The new album by Elbow is ace, but you knew that already. Now, hear most of it live.
  
• It's the FA Cup Final tomorrow, and I hope that Cardiff City win because of this. Helpfully, DiS has come up with a list of ten other memorable football songs. Memorable is another word for embarrassing, right? Check it now! (Spoiler alert: they left out 'Pass and Move it's the Liverpool Groove', the bastids)
• If you've seen 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall' and you're American, you may be wondering about Russell Brand. He writes a column for the Guardian, hosts a radio show, went to rehab for sex addiction, and his stand-up is great. Here's a sample, about when he met FSM co-star Mila Kunis' boyfriend.

[download Russell Brand - Macauley Culkin]

Much ado about [ingenting]

Sure, Sweden has given us some great bands over the years, including the Wannadies, the Concretes, Peter Bjorn and John, Abba, the Soundtrack of Our Lives, Bon Jovi and Led Zepellin. But did you know that in that country, they also speak a language called Swedish? And that there are bands that sing only in that language. Fluxblog posted a song by Veronica Maggio yesterday, and that made me think, "Hey, I've been listening to [ingenting] a lot lately, and haven't got around to writing about them, so here's an excuse."

Those square brackets are very important - apparently just plain ol' Ingenting are a black metal band from neighbouring Norway. Very different. I first got turned onto [ingenting] when some music blog said they sounded like "Sigur Ros meets the Strokes". They don't. But the two albums of theirs that I have are ace. For all I know they're singing "You're a fucking moron and your beliefs and values are all dumb and you have crap hair and everyone thinks you're pretentious" but I still dig. Here are two songs from their latest record, 2006's 'Mycket väsen för ingenting'. 'Hollywood Dreams' is pure summer fun, and the other song, 'Punkdrömmar' sounds like Bloc Party or something. But, of course, in Swedish. There's a frustrating lack of info about the band on this internet, but you can listen to them over at last.fm, so I suggest you do that.

[download [ingenting] - hollywood dreams]
[download [ingenting] - punkdrömmar]



[ingenting] myspace

Go 'head switch the style up

Glow in the Dark Tour: Kanye West, Rihanna, N*E*R*D, Lupe Fiasco
Tampa Ford Amphitheater
May 5, 2008

First things first.

A bumped-up start time does no favours for Lupe Fiasco, who is on at 6pm and playing to a quarter-filled enormodome. He gives it all he's got, but cutting off the track to let the audience sing choruses doesn't really work in this situation. Still, 'Kick Push', 'Go Go Gadget Flow' and 'I Gotcha' are all stone-cold stormers, and by the time he rounds out with 'Superstar' and 'Daydreamin', everyone's on his side.

Has it really been four years since 'Fly or Die'? Even an appearance from the Madden Brothers couldn't make that album not enjoyable. Now N*E*R*D have a third album due sometime soon, and Pharrell is still wearing the American flag. There are some new songs - one of which is called 'Spaz' - a crowd-surge, and 'Lapdance'. Also, there are two drummers and - ugh - a drum off. The set was tight, the new songs sounded pretty good, 'She Wants to Move' was great, but overall I didn't think they were more than 'pretty good'.

I admit it. I don't own any Rihanna albums. But I wish I did, because her short set - seven or eight songs, one costume change - was really good. No 'Shut Up and Drive', alas, but the rest of the hits. Finished with 'Umbrella', maybe you've heard that one before.

Kanye West made my hands glow. Seriously, at one point my glowstick exploded and my right hand was covered in shiny yellow glowstick juice, which though cool-looking was probably quite toxic, so I had to run to the bathrooms, thereby missing 'All Falls Down'. Straight up, this man is Mr. Main Event (sorry, this guy). Dude puts on a SHOW. With video screens, a talking spaceship, a narrative (!), pyro, a pseudo-cover of 'Don't Stop Believin', did I mention that the talking spaceship flirts with Kanye, some weird lady-things from Jim Henson's studios, a gold belly dancer, this was not just seeing some band play in a smoky bar. Also, he played some songs.

It's been a long time since I've been to a big-scale, outdoors show. I elected to see Kanye instead of Radiohead at the same venue the following night (couldn't afford to go to both). I'm glad I made the choice I did - nothing against Radiohead, but I've seen them before, and doubt they'd have had me dancing like a twat for ninety-five minutes. Somebody give this man a medal.

Good Morning / I Wonder / Heard 'Em Say / Through the Wire / Champion / Get 'Em High / Diamonds from Sierra Leone / Can't Tell Me Nothing / Flashing Lights / Spaceship / All Falls Down / Gold Digger / Good Life / Jesus Walks / Hey Mama / Don’t Stop Believin’ / Stronger / Homecoming / Touch the Sky

[download Kanye West - Champion (live on SNL)]
[download Kanye West - Everything I Am/Freestyle (live on SNL)]



[Kanye West myspace / official]
[Rihanna myspace / official]
[N*E*R*D myspace / official]
[Lupe Fiasco myspace / official]

He is committing egocide

I had my first of four exams today. It went well, thanks. Since the next one isn't for another few days, this is a nice opportunity to write a little somethin' somethin' about the new dEUS album, 'Vantage Point', which came out this week in countries that are worth living in.

Most striking thing: there are no epics on this album. It's more concise, which has its benefits, but there aren't any songs like 'Bad Timing' or 'Roses' or 'Lets See Who Goes Down First', which start quietly and grow and grow and grow and become monsters. I'd go so far as to say, 'Vantage Point' is the first dEUS album that doesn't have any "Shoot me dead right now because that song is fucking incredible" songs. That's a shame. There are even a couple of songs which are going to have to grow on me. 'Is A Robot' is one. 'Eternal Woman' is pretty enough, but songs with spelling in the middle are always dangerous. And though I'm a sucker for kids' choirs, the closing track 'Popular Culture' doesn't do it for me. Yet.

But this is my favourite band. So of course there's plenty I love here. 'The Architect' and 'Slow' are already old friends. I wasn't too sure about the backing vocals on 'Slow' to begin with, but the album version is a little longer and more thought out, and her from the Knife complements Tom's voice well. 'Oh Your God' is relentless but more tuneful than on early listens. I really like the scuzzy guitar and deadpan vocals on 'Favourite Game'. 'Smokers Reflect' and 'The Vanishing of Maria Schneider' are pleasant enough. 'When She Comes Down' has a nice groove, and a soaring chorus.

It's not as great as I'd have hoped, but I'm certainly not disappointed. Hopefully they'll come back to the States, and more particularly, somewhere within seven hours of where I live. I'm not holding my breath. I still love dEUS.

[Official site / Myspace / Pocket Revolution]

A bright and haunted age

British Sea Power / Film School
Jacksonville Jack Rabbits
April 19, 2008

"Come on, allons-y, let's go"

Somethings never change. It's been six years since I last saw British Sea Power, and they still look more like an expedition than a rock band. Hamilton's shirt was ripped so much it looked like he'd been to the Arctic Circle and back this very day. Now, though, they're augmented by a viola player (whose look owes a lot to the Lady of Shalott) and a keyboardist who didn't get knocked unconscious which was a plus.

"There's things that we all need to navigate"

Somethings do change. In 2002, I was terrified by the brothers' Demon Headmaster stare. Now, because they have a more polished new record out, they're a little more comfortable on stage. Still very little onstage chitchat, although at one point Noble mentioned Bill and Ben, which was cute. Primary impression of the gig: British Sea Power really fucking rock. I guess the album title is a hint, but oh my. I was surprised at how heavy they were, maybe because I still think of them as the awkward weirdos they were when they first started. BSP in 2008 are polished, seamless and loud as aw'hell. 'Canvey Island' lost a bit, I thought, under walls of guitars.

Some have criticized them for not being as spastic and mental as the olden days, but you can't expect a band to be young men forever. I would've liked to have seen 'Remember Me' in there, though.

"Lakes are forming on the pockets of your brain"

Highlights? 'Atom' and its shouts of "I just don't get it!" (a common reaction to molecular physics) was thankfully stripped of its extra intro. Viola and trumpet being heard above the racket for 'The Great Skua'. The double whammy of my two fave BSP songs, 'True Adventures' and 'No Lucifer' was pretty great. They finished, as is their way, with a 30 minute+ freakout that most of the audience left during, and was really loud, and saw Noble come into the crowd, and some gymnastics, and various guests, and lots of fingers-in-ears. It was okay, but clearly looked more fun for the band than for the crowd.

lights out for darker skies / atom / oh larsen b / down on the ground / how will i ever find my way home? / waving flags / the great skua / spirit of st louis / a trip out / canvey island / true adventures / no lucifer / carrion / a rock in

Earlier, San Francisco's Film School played a very impressive set that made me wish I'd noticed their album 'Hideout' last year. Lots of reverb, heavy MBV influence, nice tempo shifts, an attractive bass player (named Lorelei? really?) and a guitar player with a sense for showmanship. I don't know how much this would necessarily be captured when listening to their CD, but if you get a chance, go and see them play live.

Worth making a 150 mile round trip for, the weekend before law school finals start? Fuck yeah!

[download British Sea Power - True Adventures]



[British Sea Power - official / myspace]
[Film School - official / myspace]

Like a cop who needs a clue

I'll write a track-by-track for Vantage Point sometime soon. It's exam season here, that's why I've been pretty quiet lately. The different levels of ERISA pre-emption are far more interesting that writing about my favourite band's new album. Humbug.

If you have a minute, print this out, put it up somewhere in your hometown and take a picture and send it to this guy. Karl's got a head like a fucking orange.

Oh, back to dEUS - here's a video of Tom playing 'The Vanishing of Maria Schneider' in front of a mirror. Vantage Point - out next week in Europe!


Vind meer video's zoals deze op Cafe de Liefde

Jump into your grave and die

Enjoying music is not about numbers, and that's just as well, because I've probably listened to 'Alas I Cannot Swim' at least a trillion times, beginning to end, in the past two weeks. Laura Marling's debut album does everything for me. I can't really explain it. Her voice is instantly recognizable yet not quite placeable. The arrangements are terrific, with warm strings and other instruments coming and going when needed and not needed. The lyrics really get to me. Almost every song is great, but particular respeck to 'Ghosts' and 'Cross Your Fingers'. And 'Failure' and 'The Captain and Hourglass' and 'My Manic and I'. Basically, 'Alas I Cannot Swim' is a very simple album that really seeps in and I cannot get enough of at the moment. I just got out of bed, at 12.30am, while listening, because I couldn't not write about this album any longer.

All this, and I didn't even mention that she only just turned 18. Holy smoke.

Listen to the whole thing at Laura's site, or watch a live show below.

[download Laura Marling - Cross Your Fingers]
[download Laura Marling - Shine (live)] from last.fm





[Laura Marling - myspace / official site]

We cannot burn Mick Jagger

Here are some thoughts I had while watching 'Shine a Light', with precisely four other souls, on its opening night.

• First and foremost, this is a concert movie, and as such it's a very good concert movie. I don't particularly care for the Stones, but I really enjoyed dancing in my seat. The absence of other cinemagoers probably helped.
  
• The show was choreographed to death of course, but there were some cool touches - like Jagger walking through the crowd on 'Sympathy for the Devil' and guest appearances from Christina Aguilera, Buddy Guy and Jack White.
• Never mind that the band's faces all look creaky and Mick doesn't wear men's clothes any more. Those fuckers can still play. This is definitely Keith's best film role of the last couple of years, although he wore a brooch commemorating his previous, much much worse, attempt at cinema.
  
• The camera work was great - there were cameras everywhere. And the personnel was all very accomplished - some legendary cinematographers were involved.
  
• It reminded of seeing recordings for Top of the Pops and The Cut with Jo Whiley, with genuinely great bands like Spiritualized, Manic Street Preachers, Busta Rhymes (!), and the atmosphere was always really awkward, because you're encouraged to be enthusiastic three or four times, but keep moving out of the way of all the cameras.
  
• Speaking of - nobody in the audience looked like they were having as much fun as those on the stage. There was a narrow band of young, hot people at the front, and then a lot of sitting around. Come on, people! It's the Rolling Stones! Indoors! For charity! How about standing up?
  
• Some critics have been saying "It's a good concert film from a band who already have a billion concert films... Who cares?" I can understand that, but having not seen any of those others, that didn't affect my own enjoyment.
• Now here's my main gripe - the film wasn't too clear about what it wanted to be. It starts off as a documentary about the concert, with lots of Scorcese, his eyebrows, and the intense prep that goes into the show, but there wasn't much backstage footage. A funny bit where Hillary Clinton's mum says "Oooh, the drummer!" to Charlie, and meeting the President of Poland, is about the extent of pre-show action.
  
• And then, the show is interspersed with random snippets of old interviews with the band, which don't really bring anything to the film. I mean, it's funny to see a panel discussion with fresh-out-of-jail Jagger, a bishop, a Member of Parliament and "Britain's leading Jesuit", but just throwing in little clips doesn't make it a documentary.
  
• The bulk of the film is the live show, which is very entertaining - I just wish they'd not bothered trying to be more than a concert film.
  
• It's a Scorcese film without Gimme Shelter in it. Wait, whaaaat?

[download The Rolling Stones - Miss You]

Everything is banal and jejune

Hey everyone - just a quick post today. I've made a muxtape with some songs from 2008 that I quite like, and hope you might, too.

It's at http://rambocky.muxtape.com and the tracklisting is:

Laura Marling - Ghosts (I really need to write about this album soon)
Guillemots - Big Dog (Ditto)
Los Campesinos! - We Are All Accelerated Readers (Album review)
Broken Records - If The News Makes You Sad, Don't Watch It (taken from the Song by Toad session)
Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - We Call Upon the Author
Sons and Daughters - The Nest (Live)
Hot Chip - Touch Too Much
Spiritualized - Soul on Fire
dEUS - Slow
Surrounded - Safe Tomorrow Sun (I picked up this album blind, on the strength of this review)
Elbow - One Day Like This (Album review)

The kind of thing we don't talk about anymore

Out of all the possible sounds, the sirens and wailing from the beginning of 'It Takes a Nation of Millions' was NOT how I expected the new Mystery Jets album, 'Twenty One', to begin. Now helmed by superproducer Erol Alkan, the Jets have gone for a less weird second album, and while I certainly enjoyed their debut, this new one is more polished, concise and fun, without sacrificing too much of the creativity they showed before. The first half of 'Twenty One', particularly, is unimpeachably fantastic. Air raid sirens and mad synths herald in 'Hideaway', whilst 'Half in Love with Elizabeth' and 'Veiled in Grey' and short, sweet and ace. Then there's 'Two Doors Down', which sounds like ABC but more great, and with a sax burst toward the end. And don't forget the singles - 'Flakes' (still pretty) and 'Young Love,' (with Laura Marling, whose own debut album just came out and I'll probably write about soon), both of which sound good in their long-playing home. The second half of the album sees the songs getting slightly longer, and sounds a little more like the Mystery Jets we used to know and love. I feel like it veers a little off course toward the end, but for the knockout first six tracks alone, 'Twenty One' is well worth your time.

[download Mystery Jets - Veiled In Grey]



[Mystery Jets myspace / official site]
[Buy 'Twenty One' UK]

A broken collarbone and a dead meerkat

My fondness for Simon Pegg isn't much of a secret, and I thought Michael Ian Black's standup album was pretty good, so I had high-ish hopes for Run Fatboy Run, which the two co-wrote. Alas and alack, the film is a whole heap of okay. There are some funny moments, like when an old lady says "cock" and the cameos from a couple of British comedy giants (seriously, these are tall men), but for the most part it's a really formulaic romantic comedy with not much to get worked up about. Pegg falls over a lot and doesn't give it much as the lovable loser. Most annoyingly, his love rival Hank Azaria's Whit begins as a far preferable alternative, not annoying at all, and then suddenly shifts into the archetypal bad guy far too conveniently. David Schwimmer's direction doesn't really have much flair, there's Fratellis on the soundtrack, and even Dylan Moran can't save this film. I wanted to like it, I really did, but it's far too plain to warrant much more than a shrug and a chuckle.