What with the proliferation of streaming video sites, and a summer where I didn't have anything to do after 5pm for three whole months, I managed to see a whole lot of shitty movies this year. Here's a recap of the four worst. They're all blockbusters, which in a way seem like an easy target, but to be honest, I didn't see any truly horrendous indies this year (though Eagle Vs. Shark was a bit pants). Also, if you're looking for more of a laugh, the AV Club did a piece about the year's worst films which is way funnier than mine.
Evan Almighty - I wrote about this one pretty extensively at the time. I guess it wasn't completely abhorrent, unlike some of those below, but it was just a whole lot of not good.
300 - Hoo boy. The non-fighting parts were boring enough, but when you're waiting for the fighting parts to stop because those are boring, something's wrong. Here's what I wrote at the time.
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End - I didn't hate it as much as the Good Doctor seemed to but that doesn't mean I liked this overwrought, soulless, plotless, senseless waste of my three hours. Why they didn't just call it "Pirates : Fuck you, audience!" is beyond me. (Original review)
Epic Movie - Easily the worst film of the year, possibly the worst film I've ever seen. When I saw it, I couldn't even write the words to convey the hatred, so I opted for an Alan Partridge clip instead. Apparently, watching two episodes of 'Best Week Ever' was enough research for these guys to base a film around. Who needs a joke when there's FOUR musical breakdowns. With 'Meet the Spartans' due to drop soon, I'm gonna have a whole lot more hate where this came from. You know I'm going to watch it. Take it away, Hater.
4play: Bottom of the Barrel
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- Your computer was out of oil
- 4play: Bottom of the Barrel
- Acting out your own death
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