Aw hell no, Kung Fu Panda!

It's very gratifying that Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer's latest cinematic monstrosity Disaster Movie has failed to do well at all. Like their previous masterpieces, this one has dropped off the box office radar after a week. Unlike those, though, this one didn't rocket straight to number one - it landed seventh in its opening weekend, still not coming close to making back its modest budget. Good. The reviews probably didn't help too much (my fave being "a movie so bad that it’s almost avant-garde" from The Times). But those guys will always have a viewer in me - I don't know why, but I'll watch all their flicks. Here's what's passing for funny this time around (I suppose there are spoilers, but that'd imply that there was a plot):

  • More so than previously, this time they're relying heavily on not-really lookalikes. They're so unconvincing that the main characters need to spell everything out. "Amy Winehouse?!" "Hannah Montana?!"
  • Their Dr. Phil, fortunately, introduced himself.
  • Far too many people put "Bitch" at the end of every sentence.
  • There's a priest molestation joke.
  • Still funny: Michael Jackson, myspace, facebook.
  • Did enough people really see 10,000 BC, Beowulf, Prince Caspian, Speed Racer or Jumper to make them parody worthy?
  • The plot is loosely themed around Cloverfield - too high of a reference for the eight year olds that'll watch this?
  • Still funny: "I'm Fucking Matt Damon" - this time, adapted at the end to incorporate EVERY character that had been in the film. With "Dating" in place of "Fucking" because the PG-13 rating was more important than it being funny.
  • One of the cast is called G-Thang. Really.
  • Only one fake commercial in the middle of this one, for HEAD ON. I guess that's an improvement over 'Meet the Spartans', which had like three.
  • But this one still had plenty of musical breakdowns. Including a medley from Alvin and the Chipmunks. Also, they sang a death metal song. Also also, they had rabies.
  • I thought it was interesting how a lot of their spoofs, and I'm using that word loosely, were based on the trailers for summer hits. They won't have seen The Dark Knight or Hancock or The Hulk or Hellboy 2 before making this, and it's so lazy to do the slightest riff on those.
  • Still funny: "Brangelina"
  • In Spartans, a Happy Feet penguin started beating the shit out of one of the characters. Here, it's Kung Fu Panda. Why?
  • Being gay is still the worst thing ever ever ever.
  • Still funny: prissy white people talking 'street'. Also, breakdancing.
  • It just looked very cheap.
  • One of the last jokes is a shoutout to the Love Guru.
I've gotta say, this one was worse than 'Meet the Spartans'. That had, at least, a direction. This was literally a journey with "someone made to look like someone from a movie / oh, they've got hit by a cow" repeated over and again.

Which, as a metaphor, describes these guys' films pretty damn appropriately.


Lauren said...

I bet Enchanted is 1,000 times better than it.

I liked your list! It was more detailed than the liveblogging reference IMs from last night. :)

Jim said...

Stop encouraging them!

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